I know someone who suffers with anorexia. I have suffered myself and yet... at a certain point a person tries to help their self, or they just don't. There is nothing I can do to help, she will either choose to preserve her life or she will be 'naturally' selected out. I realize this sounds harsh, but goddamn it, I had to force myself to eat at one point and she can too. I really don't think that someone who truly doesn't want to live can be helped. This does not mean that I have no compassion for her situation. Quite the opposite, because I have lived her situation. She must make a personal choice now and no one can really help her. Therapy in its most deeply helpful sense has no place when someone will soon die if they don't address the immediate problem before they deal with its origin.
Godspeed woman. I hope you pull your head out of your ass and eat. And no, I make not a single apology for this post. If you are so afflicted and also offended, you can choose to eat even if you find it nasty. I did. I did it because I made a decision. You will make a decision too. Sometimes people need to just quit whining until they have at least secured their continued physical survival. And then I think they should whine as much as they damn well please and anyone who tells them to shut up should be struck by lightning.
In the meanwhile, I'm sorry that it seems survival of the fittest is the rule. The only defense against this is to decide to do whatever you can at any given point to be a bit more fit than you were yesterday/ last week/ last month/ last year. Sometimes it will still not be enough. But sometimes it will be plenty. I see nothing wrong with doing your very, very best and then keeping hopes high.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
The desire to survive must be strong.
ReplyDeleteI respect the honor felt in this post alongside the anger over your friend not taking care of herself. We think like you ... each has to make choices. It's the bottom line.
ReplyDeleteOur best,
Anns
I have just had a precious reminder today about how precious life is. With my depression I do become ambivalent to life. But on Friday night, a chance comment to the vet about Ben, when Holly was on th exam bench, meant his tumor was picked up. I have spent th last 4 days heartbroken as research on the Internet says splenic tumors in dogs are usually cancerous and extremely aggressive. He was referred to the hospital. He had a 3kg tumor removed and there appear to be no secondaries. We don't know yet until the lab results come out, but at worst he will hav 3 months more quality life. Even more importantly we have averted a painful death for him. The vet said he is lucky fo it not to have ruptured and bled to death. I am so happy. And I saw life can be precious. And I saw how upset Mrs K was. It made me think how upset she would be if I died. I hadn't considered that in all those times I wish I wasn't.
ReplyDeleteMay your friend choose life.
And I love you too. You have written a really caring post.
Xxxxxxx