Who I Really Am

So many things have gone wrong in the last day that I feel like my life is just too messy and I'm getting a little scared that I am not 'well' enough or 'together' enough to meet the challenges of the rough spots of ordinary life. This reminds me of how I felt as a kid - always different from the others, not good enough, crazy, stupid and somehow dirty, tainted and doomed to fail. The tasks and obstacles that were put in front of me by my family were Mt. Everest and I was a measly ant. This is a terrible feeling and I don't want it. I don't want to feel like a doomed freak. I wish I could see myself the way my husband claims to see me. He says he fell madly in love with me and thought I was most awesome. I tried to warn him about my family, but he admits that he thought I was exaggerating or possibly even joking. Anyway, he was ill-prepared and he was both stunned and a little frightened when he met them. I remember he asked, "How?" I said, "How what?" "How did YOU come from those people?" he asked. He said we were The Munsters and I was Marilyn. He saw how awful they were and how they had me pegged as the emotional charity case and the designated crazy person and that I was really the healthy one in that madness. He saw me. I'm the one in the back on the left. I need to remember who I really am.