I'm very tired and need to sleep, but I can't yet. I have to stay up a little longer to give the twins their pain medication. And then I have to get up early. I hope to be able to clean myself up before I take them to their first post-surgery physical therapy appointment. I've been too tired, busy and overwhelmed to shower. I took my hair down out of my ponytail today. My youngest daughter walked in, thought my hair was wet (it's just really, really greasy) and commented how she was glad that I had been able to shower. I haven't showered. I am so very weary. The little girl inside me is face-down on the floor sobbing now. It makes me weak. I was a little better off when she was screaming. I am afraid she will go from sobbing to silence. When she is sure that no one will come and she stops crying, she takes my body down with her. I can't afford that right now and I don't know what to do.