I am very near to officially creating a long overdue new business entity in which to properly and fairly house certain financial activities. With the culmination of this event, the hub and I will need to revamp our wills in order to include the interest in the new entity. I HATE this talk of wills. I hate it because we have minor children and such an event forces us to consider what would happen to them in the event of our deaths. WE HAVE NO ONE. Who? Who could care for them as we do? No one. No one. We both come from abusive and dysfunctional families and each of us are probably the most emotionally healthy of all of our relations. In my case, that is a VERY sad statement. It is sad because my sister is kind enough and probably well enough to fill this roll in a 'good enough' way. Even though she and her husband drink and she has just enough sleep troubles to gulp NyQuil just like I do. Even though her husband is a closet misogynist (and NO ONE in our house is THAT) and our children have already been programmed to discard such garbage. But am I well enough to even call her and approach the subject again and properly consider all angles? Or am I well enough to spot the problem and NOT call her because some wise parts of me recognize that she is not really better off than I am? I don't know. I don't know what to do. My husband doesn't know, either. We are alone in the reality of confronting old bullshit. We are utterly alone and therefore not allowed to die. If only it were that simple, eh? I'm going to bed and assuming that I will figure this out just as I somehow manage to figure out everything else. And I MUST figure the safest thing to do because my babies are the most important people in all of the world to me. Somehow I will make some kind of satisfactory scenario. And what does it mean if the lawyer who oversees your children's interests for you is counted among your good friends even though you have never met him in person and you are wondering if he would be a suitable guardian for orphaned children? And what does it mean if you are thinking of your therapist in the same capacity? I think it means that things are quite sad in certain ways.

I will still be gone from the internet for the most part for quite a while. I have been hard at work and still have much to do. Free time and free brain space are things I have very little of right now, but I'll catch up with you all as soon as I can.