Ramblings

Wednesday was mostly unproductive. I slept in big time because I didn't quite get enough sleep the night before. I hate it when this happens because when I sleep too much to make up for a deficit, I end up tired, lazy and unmotivated for all of the next day because of the extended sleep that my body grabbed in order to right things. Issaac Newton was right -- a body in motion tends to remain in motion and a body at rest tends to remain at rest. I guess it can't be helped sometimes.

THE BRIGHT SIDE:
I made a lovely meal for my family - a lean and sumptuous pork roast rubbed with garlic and crushed red pepper, slow-cooked with fresh baby carrots and crisp green beans -- it was delicious. They ate like hungry wolves. And then I made brownies from my own modified-for-health recipe with my shocking secret ingredient -- olive oil. Really, you can't taste the olive oil and it is so much better than the alternatives people usually bake with. It turned out nice. I ate two of them myself and I am not big on sweets (I had to brush my teeth right away because I swear I feel plaque forming immediately after I eat anything sweet - a simultaneuos 'yum' and 'yuck'). Also, with so much inactivity, though I did not write, I had a lot of time and mind-freedom to consider my fictional work-in-progress. So many revelations that deeply enrich my story! I like that. Maybe sometimes the mind just needs to wander without even having to type.

THE NOT-SO-BRIGHT-SIDE:
The creative part of me was locked down during therapy Tuesday night. No, we cannot include him in our creative adventures. Our work in that regard is private and there is no room for the therapist in there, even though we love him very much. With the new emergence of creativity now, I am not sure where that leaves me as far as therapy, but we cannot tell him anything that is going on now that is related to creativity. Too dangerous. One smack of alarm, disapproval, disinterest or misunderstanding from him and it would all come falling down. Some risks are not worth taking. It's a long and scary road to go alone, but... it's the one we have chosen.

Thursday night is the art exhibition at the twins' school. My daughter A has been very excited about this and so have I. She is a very gifted artist and she has been sneaking home photos on her phone to show me her work as it has progressed in its various stages. It has been a privilege to be included in this process. I cherish this sharing of creativity and I thumb my nose at my own mother, who shunned my stories and my songs out of hatred and selfishness. My sweet little A totally rocks and I can't wait to see her finished offerings live and in person. I can't wait. I feel very lucky that my children are so close with me and trust me enough to share their most private and cherished things.

Messiness aside, they are wonderful children. Absolutely wonderful. I could use a live-in maid (can't afford such a person), but I am so happy to be my children's mother. I wouldn't trade them for anything. Being with them is the best thing I have ever done and I am eternally grateful to have had such an opportunity. Blessings and much thanks to you, my faithful reproductive system -- thank you, I love you and YOU ROCK! :-)