I'm on a roll.

I wrote in my novel again Monday morning, as I will continue to do every morning. I won't put myself away anymore because it's not fair and it is also much too painful and despairing to do that. I wrote 700 words again. I would have liked a little more, but this was okay as I needed a bit of extra sleep. The freedom of writing helps me. After I wrote, I read some writer's blogs, I made dinner and then did the shopping and updated my to-do list even while knowing that some accomplishments might be slow in coming. I didn't do much more, but I am a slow-moving train to the outside world right now and that's just how it is. I'm okay with it. I have waited for a long time to claim the freedom to do what I am doing now, so I am just going to enjoy it and tedious things like excess housework will be second unless there is some emergency that needs my attendance. I have discovered something important. I am not really too much further behind than usual. Not writing because other things were 'more important' drained all of my energy and made me very slow and depressed because I was so despondent on the inside. Now that I am back in the swing of things, I can get almost the same amount of non-writing things accomplished, just without the usual amount of dread and sorrow.

I did the grocery shopping last night. I wanted to ask the husband to come with me because I was insecure about going alone, but he was tired and I didn't want to ask him. I need not have been insecure. I went by myself and it was good because I was full of hope and energy because my mind was on the characters in my story. I feel good. And now I'm going to bed. And then I will get up and do what I love to do. I will do the thing that makes me truly alive and if someone can't find their favorite shirt because they lay their crap all over the place and I am not their slave anymore -- then tough shit. They can take some responsibility and clean up after themselves or else they can wear something else. I am not their slave ANY. MORE. I am finally free. I am free because *I* say so and I don't need approval or permission from ANYONE. This is the best kind of freedom.