Sunday, October 24, 2010
The last thing that I ever imagined would happen...
I thought getting rid of Old Guy would clear the way for the little girl, but it is the teenage girl he so wounded with his venom who has crawled out of my nightmares wearing the face of one of my own precious teenage daughters. A face that Old Guy shot ACID onto when he hurt her so badly as he did. This bleeding baby, who at the end of my dream, was secured in a closet with New Guy and me waiting for Rambo and Old Guy to stop shooting each other, is in desperate need. And I don't know what to do with her so I got her drunk. I'm so sorry, but I don't know what to do. And what kind of a world do we live in where careless, clumsy, angry therapists morph into gun wielding killers in the dreams of their clients? This is the world that I have been living in since July of 2006. And I am only now awakening to the full impact of the reality of it. That makes me want to go back to sleep. But for the nightmares... Such a situation as this might make a person want their mother. But my mother always hated me and didn't make it a secret. She said she wished I had never been born, that I had ruined her life and that she was going to take me to the orphanage or abandon me to the pedo. I'm not well now.
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then i suggest you climb into this huge brown oversized leather chair with me and we can be sick together. and if you ain't afraid of catching wat I got - i will hold u and the teenage girl...loving you - G.
ReplyDeleteHold on and comfort yourself. Mothers are not always really good to their children. It was your Mom loss. She missed a beautiful wonderful child.
ReplyDeleteSorry, can't offer something useful or un-suspicious at the moment. I only know that some people are really crap at being parents. I hope you will feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteIt's too easy to have kids. Lots of people should not be parents. I'm sorry yours was one of those {{{hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteI hope this eases up for you soon. I'm sorry you had a mother like that. You deserved way better.
ReplyDeleteit's easy to see you are in the thick of therapy and making real progress. I know it probably doesn't feel that way but as one who has been there and knows, I can assure you, you are making progress. Way to go girl! I'm pulling for you.
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