I did it. I made the change. Old Guy was very decent and understanding about it. He was supportive about my decision and I know he really does wish me well. New Guy and I have worked very hard to make sure that what I was doing could be done from a real and honest decision. I think we did a pretty good job. Of course there was some fear and sadness today. I spoke with New Guy about it right after because I was getting a little scared about what might happen. And then he showed me something. He showed me the source of most of that fear. Do you know what I was most afraid of? Fear. I was afraid that feelings of fear and/ or sadness might overwhelm me and I didn't want to have to feel them. New Guy reminded me about all the things I told him about anger. How it is not a 'negative emotion'. How I get so pissed off if someone says I need to 'let go of it'. Because that is bullshit. After my anger has brought me whatever message it came to bring, it leaves on its own. He wanted me to consider that the same might be said for fear and sadness. Hmm... Interesting. Anyhoo, I realized something even more surprising just then. I ALREADY HAD felt a great deal of fear and sadness about quitting with Old Guy. That is what New Guy and I have been handling together for the past couple of weeks! The worst of the feelings I was dreading around this have already happened!! Then I started to feel something else. I think it was hope.