The Last Few Days

1. I have still done nothing about my computer and have resigned myself to sharing for a few more days. This is because I have been busy. Not for the purpose of shutting myself out this time, but because I have many things to do right now. Do I get shut out anyway in order to make things happen? In part (pun intended). But it sure doesn't make me sleep earlier.

2. I spent Tuesday afternoon and evening helping the husband unload three loads of heavy boxes in new inventory. We tried to beat the sunset, but we didn't quite make it and I became mosquito bait at dusk. I still itch, I have sore muscles and I'm a little short on sleep. Sometimes it's mildly upsetting that necessity cannot change my sleeping pattern.

3. I spoke with Old Guy last night. He said I have a beautiful soul. I don't know what to say about this right now, but I remember a time when it would have meant even more to me to hear something like that from him than it did last night. It makes me a little sad that I didn't get to hear that back when I could have taken it on board. I don't need those things now. I have beer instead.

4. And I couldn't help but wonder if Rambo was included in Old Guy's assessment of my soul. I think he should be. I swear, if I didn't have the good and loyal hub, I'd do Rambo if he were 'real' and willing to produce equivalent rings for me to keep in the drawer where I keep the husband's rings (no offense to the hus or to Rambo, it's just my 'marriage allergy'). Is this proof of some level of self-love? And do beautiful souls even say shit like this or is Old Guy just blowing smoke up my ass? Hmmm... I guess that depends on whether or not he finds honesty beautiful even when it's ugly. And I have no further comment on that. (Except to say that that is a 'paradox' as opposed to a 'double bind' - don't get me started. Just see the relevant article in the sidebar.)

5. New Guy sent an email reply. I was only mildly surprised instead of shocked, as I can often be when a person appears outside of the expected context in some way when I am disconnected. It made him real again instead of making me panic upon discovering that he had been dissociated out when I heard from him unexpectedly. I missed him then. I think I miss him a little now, too. I'm missing something, that's for sure.

6. For anyone who is interested or even has the slightest clue what I am talking about (my Elliott Wave count of the stock market), minor wave three down of intermediate wave one down of primary wave three down has begun. Enjoy.

7. I may have found an accountant and tax consultant. I promise I will make the actual phone call very soon. This could reduce mess, stress and taxes. I mean, really... it sucks ass to spend the second week of every April wondering if there is a better way, if you are sufficient to the task, sequestered with forms and crying while you fight a little girl for control of your own brain. Life is hard enough without that. I don't think I can face it again. I finally cry uncle and will rent space in someone else's brain. I'm out of room in here and am ready to hire some extra brain cells. I feel like I'm a day late and a dollar short, but better late than never.