It's that time of night again. Though less anxiety provoking than it was before, thoughts of the trauma with my old doctor, her poison pills and the unfathomable hell they caused me are intruding again. But I'm still a little better off right now than I have been for the last several days.

I saw New Guy last night. And right now I have something in my pocket that he gave to me. I am glad he explained the symbolism behind it. It makes me feel safer and stronger even when I am by myself. And he is very good at providing concrete examples of how I am different, stronger and more knowledgeable than I was at times when I was traumatized. And he does this without invalidating my experiences or asking me to store anything.

When I came home from therapy, I fell into a deep sleep and slept very soundly for over three hours without even moving. I fell asleep in my clothes with his words in my mind, his hug in my heart and his gift in my pocket. I think I will take it with me in my pocket when I go out. And when I go back to bed, I will put it on my nightstand. It makes me feel better. Like Grace's puppy and Grace's scarf and Grace's angel.

Maybe New Guy is right about me and I am going to be okay. I hope it's true. I want him to be right.