DEFY IT

I had some anxiety when I woke up today. It likes to find me, you know? It tried to suck me under. I went out and ran the errands, did the shopping, put everything away, folded my grocery bags and put them back in the trunk of the car and I did it all in time for dinner. Not by dragging myself along in the typical slogging manner and not by dissociation, but by defiance. I considered the anxiety and decided to DEFY IT. That's right, I flipped it the bird and laid the smackdown on it.


Edited to add:
Excerpted from an email to a friend, these are the basic directions I cooked up to DEFY IT --

...look around at how you are forced to live and GET ANGRY. That's what I did today. It's not a cure all, night still sucks and I'm still going to drink (got a beer in the freezer right now), but it got me out of bed and gave me the strength to do some things in relative peace. I pictured my parents in my mind. I pictured my shitty doctor who dumped me in drugville hell, I even pictured (Old Guy) and his present fucking moment. I pictured them thick as thieves all huddled there together in the grandparents' house and I screamed at them and told them what a bunch of stupid fucking cunts they are and how if they DARED to show their ugly fucking faces while I was out that I would eviscerate them with glee and dance in the gore. I scared them for a change instead of the other way around. I ridiculed them until they were stupid, small and unimportant and then I told them to get the fuck lost.