To answer some of the recent comments,
1. I'm not so okay.
2. My accounting hat wouldn't stay on my head and I had a massive emotional meltdown.
3. I changed my blog to get the recent crap off my first page because the Shame Monster was here. It said: "Oh fer chrissakes. Can't you keep anything quiet? Can't you ever shut up? You are such an embarrassment. And I can't believe you blogged during the slide down the hill. You fucking blogged it. What the fuck is wrong with you? Didn't you know what was happening? NO? Again? Jesus H. Get a clue, won't you?"
In other news,
I managed to do the banking, but I'm having a problem focusing and staying on task. I guess I will try to pay my bills tomorrow. I've been very depressed. And my pants are loose. I lost a few pounds in all the recent stress. I can't really afford to lose any more, but I'm not hungry. At least I did a load of whites. In light of the recent UTI, I would hate to run out of clean underpants and have to swipe a pair of the husband's. My husband is a good person and I love him very much, but man cooties are about the last thing I need right now. Is it wrong and weird that I am separating my own whites from those of the rest of the family once again and washing them separately? Is it wrong that I cannot tolerate the thought of my underpants touching my husband's underpants even in the bleach-bombed laundry? Is it wrong that I am running my own load a second time with just water to make sure all the soap and bleach are gone because I don't want that touching me either? I don't want anything touching me.
Note to self: Thank you for looking in the rearview before you went inside the bank. What the hell happened in the bathroom before you left the house? Did you forget where your lips end and the rest of your face begins? That lipstick was atrocious. Please try to look like you're better off than Courtney Love. (And thank you for washing your hair. Now please buy some extra underpants and wash them right away to get rid of the manufacturing and packaging cooties.)
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Lynn, I give you the gift of forgiving yourself for anything you did or think you did. Cut yourself some slack - on me!! :) You wouldn't (or at least I think you wouldn't) be this hard on someone else - be as good to yourself as you would be to others on your best day.
ReplyDeleteYou might think that you are excessively sstrange, but I like you because you do plenty of normally strange things. I am normally strange. I do not let anyone else's laundry--not one item--co-mingle with my underwear. I wash everything before it touches my skin. I double rinse, always. have an unnatural affinity for OxyClean, I hate to wash my hair, and I abhor being hugged.
ReplyDeleteIf you're feeling odder than the rest of the population, well, know that you're not unique that way.
Let yourself be OK with that (now and then, anyway). Occasional peace is better than relentless turmoil.
I'm worried about you.
Don't worry, May. I'll be okay.
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