Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Monday Night

The Little Girl was here. I was watching a movie with one of my daughters and she just showed up out of nowhere. Thankfully, I am very skilled at hiding that stuff from those around me. Still, while hiding from others spares them from being afflicted with my pain, I still carry it around inside with me. I miss my therapist so much. The Little Girl has glued herself to his soul. I need him and I'll be glad when he comes back from vacation. Truth be told, if I could have anything I wanted - he would be coming to bed with me tonight. He would sit right next to me in my bed and we would be covered up together and I would fall asleep feeling safe and warm inside. I would have peace. Instead, I'm having the last beer left over from last night's six pack (yep - I got seriously sloshed last night). Then I'm going to have a salad and a chicken sandwich. Then I'll find a way to get through the night.

5 comments:

  1. Sorry you are having such a rough time. I think, when I'm in these situations, it's time for me to help younger parts by soothing them myself. I know this isn't what The Little Girl really wants, but this is basically what you can offer. Paul

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  2. Hopefully Mr T will be back really soon.

    {{{{Hugs}}}}

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  3. Paul: Like water for chocolate. Or so it sometimes seems.

    Thank you, K.

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  4. ((LYNN)) I know how much you miss your T. My T would tell you to "imagine" that he was with you...that doesn't really work for me, but thought I'd throw it out there, in case it works for you. Hell - I carry around a pet rock!
    My T is leaving for vacation AGAIN in 3 days!!!! I can already feel that 5 year old tugging at me, whining and crying, wondering how she's going to get through the weekend...
    I know you want peace...and I hope that someday you find it...I hope 'we' all do...
    Thinking of you....~ Grace

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  5. I hope he comes back soon. I'm sorry for your pain. Thinking about little girls lately has been making me cry. I wonder why.

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