1. I had a couple of beers this morning. yesterday morning, too. What can I say? I was weak and tomorrow is a new day.

2. I have sore muscles from all the wrestling with the sofa. I have a scrape on my shoulder and I don't know how it happened.

3. I talked with the therapist and it's official - I'm still not insane.

4. I can't wait until the dishwasher is delivered and installed. I'm practically drooling at the prospect.

5. The therapist thinks I should at least hire a housekeeper on an as needed basis to minimize the feeling of impending invasion that makes me hesitate to have it regularly. This makes sense and I will think on it a bit. As much as I want things to be more comfortable here, I have certain weird issues that get triggered around people invading my space. Even if I NEED them to. And that last sentence creeped me out.

6. We've had our battles, but I love my therapist. I really do.

7. I still have not filled out the papers to visit my son. I don't know what to do. I feel paralyzed about that. Still, I know I have some energy somewhere because I'm using it to throw myself into other things because I can't deal.

8. I have so many things going on and needing my attention right now, that it has been making me feel quite odd. More on that later. Or not. Probably not. Or I could just say that I feel scattered, a little foreign, and sometimes I feel like all those things can't fit in my brain at the same time.

9. Speaking of the therapist, I know what caused the last round of fighting. I can't remember right now if I already blogged on that, but it's this -- It got started by the discussion about him making a voice recording for me to go to sleep with. I wanted that. I did. But -- okay, here is an excerpt of something I wrote to him about that: I am sorry for the weirdness and the meanness that was directed at you. Also, I know more about why it happened. Do you remember what we talked about immediately after the medication conversation? It was the recording you offered to make for me to go to sleep with. Rambo heard: That guy who likes pills, the one who hurt the teenage girl - he wants major access to the little one now.

10. Just between us bloggies? Right now I still want the recording. Right now I need it. I guess I should talk to him about that some more and see how that might go over with certain other parties. If we talk about it and there is no freak out afterward, then maybe it is okay now to have it. Dunno. I'm going to bed. Pass the NyQuil.