1. Last night/ yesterday morning was better than tonight/ this morning, so I was able to sleep a little earlier even though I only had one beer.
2. Tonight/ this morning, I am not so fortunate.
3. Whatever goes on while I am sleeping seems to contribute to the IBS stuff when I wake up. This time I will simply refuse to go until evening. You wouldn't believe how stubborn I can be. I will win this. Or else.
4. I talked with the therapist Wednesday. Twice. Once was a drink-blunted emergency meltdown, the other was my appointment. I asked him to make a relaxation recording for me to go to sleep with. There was some other talk (his) about medication (fuck off). There was also some talk (mine) about guns (a possibility). I'm thinking the Magnum .500. Just in case of disease, you know? I will know he's a faker if he doesn't make the recording for me.
5. I think I was suffering from Serotonin Syndrome when I took antidepressants. Duh! I have the fucking PTSD!! You wouldn't believe how goddamn sick I get when I take the psyche drugs. All of 'em. I think the next time the therapist says the word 'medication', even if I say it first, I will have to remind him that he is not a medical doctor and then put the word on the Do Not Say List so I don't go off on his ass and say all kinds of mean shit. He needs to remember that it's not my problem if he can't tolerate my distress. It is only my problem if I can't tolerate my distress. Elementary, my dear therapist. All in all though, I like the guy. I like him a lot. But that doesn't mean for a minute that he can invade my space. I insist on certain boundaries with people. I know my place and my role in various circumstances. I expect other people to know theirs, too.
6. I have a new favorite show on HGTV. It's called 'Income Property'. I like it. I like it a lot.
7. I am now short the financials again. It seems to me that the second right shoulder has formed a peak on the S&P 500. I will know shortly (heh) if I'm wrong, and then I can always bail out and come back in a little later. I'm up pretty decently for the year, so WTF, right? I'm watching a new inverse 3x ETF, SPXU. It directly tracks the S&P. I might use that one next time. I want to watch it for a while first. Sorry, it's just that I know the 'green shoots' are only stink weed that have been spray painted a phony shade of green by the government propaganda machine. Others are beginning to realize it, too. 'Bout fucking time. Unfounded optimism kills. It makes people ignore the fundamentals. That is dangerous for all of us. Unemployment has already exceeded the maximum predicted by the sham of the banks' 'stress tests'. I called it. And I was able to do that because I know the audacity (arrogant disregard for safety) of hope gets people killed. And it gets them in the poorhouse, too. Unless they bet against the audacity of blind faith that is unsupported by reality. He won't be re-elected. I know it's early, but I'm calling that, too. Sad. All he had to do was be honest and can the hype. Maybe that's too much to ask of a politician, no matter where his heart is. If the head isn't living in reality, then the intentions of the heart cease to matter. Denial is a very bad thing. The S&P will break the March 2009 lows of 666 before the recession is over. I'll be watching, and I'll be short the market when it happens. You read it here first.
:-)
G'night, y'all.
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I can't figure out the damn bullets either. I can get them to show up but not the spacing. I usually resort to using astericks or some other symbol.
ReplyDeleteHope you sleep well, whether that be night or morning.
The bullets are easy. If you want just send me an email. paul@mindparts.org.
ReplyDeleteSorry you are going through all this. I just wanted to say that I think the idea of asking your therapist to record him is a good one. Mine sometimes does progressive relaxation and I asked her last week if we could record this. She said yes.
Paul.
Bullets, schmullets. The numbers worked fine. :)
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to tell you that I always come away from your blog impressed with your inner strength. You don't take any crap from anybody! I know that is a very tiring stance to hold for very long, though, so I hope that you can get some rest soon.
Also, no bet on the last numbered paragraph. I think (hope) you're right.
you did some ok things in the list good on you
ReplyDelete#7 has me thinking you are far too smart. lol... was waaay over my head!
ReplyDelete((((((((Lynn))))))))))
ReplyDeleteA bear after my own heart. :)
4. Lucky you. The only Magnum we are allowed to own here is a kind of ice-cream.
Me, too, Enola. And I don't have the patience to figure it out.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Paul. I hope if he does make the recording, that he will not spoil it with his repeated boundary violations. Maybe HE needs some drugs.
Hi, LC! I DID sleep. I slept like a dog for almost nine hours! Wanna know how I did it? Yes, with an evil email to the therapist. Then I wrote a much more hateful version that I am keeping to myself and I called him all kinds of motherfuckers under my breath. Guess what else it fixed? That's right. :-) No more sprinting for the bathroom. I still have more work to do, though. I have a slight headache. I feel an email coming on. Maybe I will tell him that as soon as he gets his MD, then he can bring it up again. At which point he will be fired because he will then be considered to be permanently ensconced in the enemy camp.
Thanks, JIP.
We'll see how smart I am by how I handle the upcoming price action, Xmichra. I hope you're right!
Amanda, is that peanut shrapnel in them there ice creams? Looks delicious!