Alternative title: Don't try to cheer me up when there's a fire down under...
"That's a good and positive thing, and I also notice that you keep coming back to the less positive aspect in this equation."
"Shall I simply ignore it? They are not mutually exclusive. Why can't they both exist?"
"So the glass is half empty then?"
"No, it's just that there's a fly in it."
I'm sure y'all will have no trouble in knowing which of the above speakers was me. Feel sorry for my therapist, huh? He had to hear about the vagina issue before that. That part went like this: "Why shouldn't I focus on a possible reason for it? I bet if your penis caught fire, you'd be looking for a way to put it out, too." Maybe I'm just lucky he doesn't throw in the towel. Why must I be the queen of TMI? Why? Sometimes thinking a thing just makes it fall right out of my mouth and I don't even know it has happened until my ears hear it, at which point it is too late to try to suck it back in. Maybe there are some things I shouldn't mention. Like... most everything. Sometimes I feel like I should just shut up and ignore things. Which makes me irritated when someone gets all cheery on me when my genitals are on fire in absence of any medical reason.
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Dr. Drew once said that vaginismus can be triggered by psychological causes. So there is a reason, though it may be psychosomatic. In my book, being psychosomatic does not make the distress any less real.
ReplyDeletehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
well darn how are you supposed to just ignore fiery genitalia? As if you could concentrate on anything else when that is going on.
ReplyDeleteI for one adore the way you think; you are very very bright and quick witted.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that he told me to ignore anything (and certainly not the burning), but I felt a little touchy about him seeming to want to pull to the positive (the thing that helped the burning) while glossing over the negative (the reason I worry I might never have true peace). Both things exist. Just keeping it real.
ReplyDeleteWill have proper responses later, the question just popped out at me.
ReplyDeleteHey, don't worry about coming around and commenting on blogs and don't worry about what you say, either. Jesus, if you can't say whatever comes up to your therapist, what the hell is the point?
ReplyDeleteJust do whatever self-care you can...whatever you can to comfort, pamper a little. Thinking of you.
Oh, man. I've had the fiery vagina, too. Usually for me, though, it's the unending pelvic pain. I've stopped mentioning it to doctors. They always want to do a pelvic exam, and then can't come up with any explanations.
ReplyDeleteSo now they ask, "is that tender?" And I say, "Feels perfectly normal to me!"
Yours in TMI,
Superla
Thank you for the web address, Lily. That particualr ailment is sometimes a problem, too. Not always, and not to an extreme, but it still sucks. And you're right. Just because something is psychosomatic does not mean there is no real distress.
ReplyDeleteTotally, Enola! I would have loved to ignore that, but it just wasn't possible. Not even for me (and you wouldn't believe some of the turmoil and distress I can ignore). Thankfully, it's gone now. And a good riddance to it.
You're sweet, Kahless. And I emailed you about the scrabble.
:-)
Hi, Marj. "Jesus, if you can't say whatever comes up to your therapist, what the hell is the point?" You are so right. I need to remember that. He's used to me, so I seem to be able to say whatever with him, but sometimes it still feels like I'm not used to being able to do that with many people. Maybe that's why I'm the queen of TMI in the few safe places where I can be. Lucky for me, my therapist doesn't even seem to mind that I say 'fuck' so much. Yeah, I guess I can say anything that comes up. :-)
Thank you, Superla! Yes, the fiery vagina is a difficult thing to suffer. I also have pelvic pains and had the same experience with it that you did. -- So now they ask, "is that tender?" And I say, "Feels perfectly normal to me!" -- Me, too. Seems to be no point in doing otherwise.