My house is pretty clean. I shopped, cooked lots of good food, paid all the bills, updated my to-do lists, gave myself a manicure and a pedicure, and my hair looks fabulous. So I'm just kinda wondering how I can still have so much fear going on in here. And it bugs me to always have crap going on in my head when I'm trying to pay attention to the kids.
Oh -- and I did the deed with the husband, too. I was even considerate enough not to actually write it down as a to-do. :-) AND - I made an incredible discovery. It's the combination of beer and sex. Note to self - get a good buzz on before you do the deed. Things will go much smoother. Actually, smooth was not all. It was at least as fabulous as my hair. Strangely, that does not stop me from being bothered by it.
Sometimes I get the spastic bowel business going on if I get too stressed out. That happened the next morning after the barely mentionable in the second paragraph. I got that handled, too, with yet another incredible discovery. Did you know that it is possible to actually refuse to go? Yes. It is. I refused until my body stopped spazzing out on me. Talk about your ultimate control freak.
I think this is going to be a long summer. And it's hard for me because I want to be 'normal' with the kids home. I think the worst thing is the feeling of too much sensory input. I don't handle that well and it makes me feel freaked out inside. Since I'm not the type to pop off at my family, it kind of makes me zone out attention wise and I just defer to the now-weary instructions in my head. (Did you understand what she just said? No? Me, either. Just smile and nod then.) I feel like I'm losing IQ points. Hopefully, I can get them back when school resumes in the fall.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
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summer is hard...
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this post so much. And I'm not female!
ReplyDeleteI understand about getting into a place where you get a lot of things done. To be honest, the way you write about it sounds a bit manic. Especially down to the spastic bowel problem.
I've been following your blog and I know you are working hard. I hope the summer isn't as "long" as you think. I think you have the skills to make it work.
Paul
I'm glad you took some time to do things for yourself, EH! I'll bet your manicure/pedicure and hair look fabulous!! Hang in there..... You only have to do one day at a time, thankfully - not the whole summer at once. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, I have the knack of refusing to go at times too. Doesnt work with a full bladder though.
ReplyDeleteAs for the IQ... the word verification is morivate. Now I like that word. Maybe you are just morivating this summer.
I hope this doesn't come off wrong, but I am sooooo glad to be celibate. And I really am not being sarcastic about that. The Deed was a major stressor in my life.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the spastic colon thing way more than I care to say.