Saturday, April 25, 2009

I'm trying really hard not to have an anxiety attack. It's the daughter's birthday party. I wish it wasn't here at the house. People will start coming in less than a half hour. I don't like having to talk to people and I don't like people in my house. I had to leave the planning to my husband because I was too overwhelmed and sick with my problems to take care of it. I wish he had planned it somewhere else, but he couldn't because he didn't get going on it fast enough to reserve anything. I guess good spots go too early. Now I'm stuck and all I wanted was for my daughter to have a nice birthday. I wish things weren't like this. I haven't been able to eat. I'm drinking Ensure right now so I don't pass out or something. It makes me feel really bad that I am wishing it was over. I really can't handle things like this and I just don't know what to do anymore.

4 comments:

  1. I had my son's birthday at the apartment we were living in at the time when he turned ten (I think.) Never again--what a nightmare!
    I start getting panicky at parties too. Used to alleviate it by getting really smashed, but that's not an option any more.

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  2. Hope you survived the party. With no kids I don't know what it is like. But I know we rarely have any visitors. I nearly sacked the cleaner on wednesday as she invaded my privacy. I am enormously protective of that. Maybe a blogpost to be written on that.
    Hang in there.

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  3. I hope it went as well as can be.

    Perfectly understand as I haven't had a birthday party for son at home since...quite a while. Thank heavens for local McDonald's/Pizza Parlors.

    I hope I can continue to avoid this happening for as long as possible.

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  4. Oh, man have I been there. I want to be a good parent and do things and be involved for my son, but I get so dammed overwhelmed sometimes. I'm glad to here from the more current post that it went okay.

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