The dark is coming early again...

I should be getting showered up and ready for bed. Instead, I'm sitting at the kitchen table pigging out on the chocolates I bought for the trick or treaters. I was not in the mood to shop around for a massive quantity of really cheap toothbrushes this time and I ain't giving away anything outta my private stash. You want to know what I've been doing? Want to know why I've been doing it? I've been working like a dog in this house and hitting my to-do list hard. I've been doing it to stay sane, of course. I seem to have, once again, developed an old ulterior motive.

You know what November is, right? It's NaNoWriMo time. Yes, that's right. It's time for unbalanced writers everywhere to write like mad persons. The goal is a minimum 50,000 word novel by the end of the month. I can already tell you that I cannot write 50,000 words in a month. I would hate the freakin' story by the end of the month if I did that. And I hate to hurry. I will serve no story before it's ripe. Good and putrid is how I like 'em. Well... it's how I end up writing them anyway. I prefer to just use the time as a starting off point and see what develops. My goal is to write almost everyday and see if I can find a rhythm to fit my writing back into my life.

So... with NaNo wriggling around in the back of my head, I dragged myself up out of my depression bed and started cleaning just to keep from being overly pathetic. And then the NaNo motive began to come clear, so I stepped up the pace. (Just in time, too. Bizarre anxiety shit that was trying to cave in my head needed a way to be outrun.) I used to do this all the time back when I wrote. I used to dive into the story pretty deep and little things would start getting behind. Then I would have to stop writing for anywhere from a couple of days to a week or two to set everything right again.

Guess where I started cleaning? The kitchen. I have a pretty kitchen, but I hate it when it's messy. I can usually keep up with everyday things, but it was those other things that made it look dumpy in here. It was the layer of dust that covered the baseboards and the slats of the pantry door, the crud in the cracks of the booths at the table, the nasty little flecks of dried food stuck to the wall... I hate that shit. It's all gone now. I started in here because I promised myself I would not write in bed. I wanted to get out of that fucker and DO something, and then keep on doing something, even if it's something that has me sitting on my ass anyway. I brought the laptop out to the kitchen Wednesday afternoon. I watched the maket out here instead of in my bedroom. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely grateful that I have a way to score some $$$ while all fucked up and sniveling around in my pajamas, but... I can score in the kitchen, too. It's better in here. I will watch the market out here Thursday, too. I've got to get in the habit, you know?

I will start on November 1st. I will report live from the kitchen table. :-)

Yes, The Problem has been on my mind. For those of you who are more recent readers, this will not be the first time I have done NaNo. Eh. I'm trying not to think about The Problem too much. Things might not descend into madness this time. Anything is possible, right? Let's hope so, because I have no idea what I will be writing. None at all. However... because of Jim, I do know how it will start. Jim's a good buddy.

Pssst. The title of this blog post starts the story.

Thanks, {{{{Jim}}}}.

:-)