I have had to change my routine because of the conditions at the prison where my son is incarcerated. Even though there was another incident there on Wednesday, I have definitely noticed a pattern and conditions are much more dangerous there on the weekends. Because the warden is not there? Because investigators only snoop Monday through Friday? I don't know, but I see the pattern. And so I cannot shop for groceries on Sunday anymore. It must be done on Friday now before the weekend starts so no evening report from my son can panic me and cripple me so badly that I cannnot go out and shop when the formerly designated time of Sunday evening comes around. Because, you know... I might be busy being berated by a bitchy 911 operator who should come here and say shit to my face so I can clean her clock for her. :-)

This new arrangement is something I have decided to do as a part of my counter-attack. I will NOT let these freaks make me crash anymore. The fucking party is over for these loonies and I will keep doing exactly what I did Thursday morning after Wednesday's incident of violence. I will adjust my routine, I will get up earlier, get on the phone AND TELL EVERYTHING. I think my son and I have made a friend at the Inspector General's office. Please send this man your hope, strength and wishes for his fortitude. I hope the reason certain people have not showed up for their shifts at the prison the past two days is because of the awesome leads I gave the inspector (courtesy of my very observant son) that could not help but yeild some kind of evidence that was useful. A lady can hope, right?

It was hard for me to shop on Friday night. I am still somewhat raw from terror and still trying to recover. I was exhausted and anxious and I could not locate anyone in my interior landscape who might help me. I managed to drive to the grocery, but I couldn't make it inside due to panic and I had to get back in the truck and go home. I went back later and spent WAY too much money loading the house down for pantry and freezer items because I am still terrified that some awful news might come my way and then my daughters won't have enough food to eat if I can't function right because of some horror.

I am still dealing with post-operate stuff from the twins' knee surgeries. I still have my youngest daughter's bedroom somewhat disassembled because I was right in the middle of redoing it when the shit hit the fan. I have been completely overwhelmed and I am exhausted.

I have decided one other thing aside from routines and scheduling. I have decided that there will eventually be a lawsuit. It is inevitable at this point and I look forward to it. There is only so much shit that I am willing to put up with without exacting the proverbial pound of flesh.