Husband: What's the matter with you?
Me: I gave New Guy that story and now I'm afraid he won't like me and that makes me think about quitting therapy. Or maybe he isn't really going to read it anyway. But since I already gave it to him, that would make me feel bad, too. Plus, I have no appointment with him this week and I feel very lonely inside. It makes me feel five. And yet very old. Five, old, unpublished, don't know if I want to be published, can barely keep writing, no confidence, useless and no clue what to do with myself. Plus I have PMS and the hypochondria and I'm anxious and really depressed.
Husband: (*insert a bunch of reassuring stuff that didn't really register*) Did you go to the grocery store?
Me: No.
Husband: Are you going to?
Me: Will you come with me?
Husband: Okay.
Me: Okay.
Lynn,
ReplyDeleteStop selling yourself short. Giving out that story took massive cojones! I've written those "real feelings" type of stories and I haven't let ANYONE see them yet. We're all afraid of what people will think of us for the dark inside. That's the victim mentality at work though and we can't let it stop us. that's how the fuckers win! The first step in healing always has been and always will be: tell the truth to someone you trust. You trust New Guy, it's just "them" telling you not to. Tell "them" to STFU and keep writing. You have to drain wounds or they fester - trust me here, I'm a medic after all! :-)