Updates and a Measure of Progress

1. I got my bills paid and have some halfway decent organization underway. Of course, I want more of that. Happily, I have been able to inject a little bit of patience and fortitude into this area.

2. The last of the major expenses at the troubled rental are over. Yippee!!

3. One of the twins wants to miss a day of school to go to a playoff game (pro baseball). I was telling my son about it and I told him how I thought it was odd that my first question for her was, "Who are the Rays playing?" 'Cause that was totally part of my decision. Some games are just more worthy of playing hooky than others. We laughed and then he said, "What have you done with my mother?" I said, "I don't know, but if I run into her, I'll tell her you inquired after her well-being." We laughed more. *yikes* Reminded me of the time one of the twins told me that none of her friends have a mommy like me and that I'm very special because I wear man-boots and play with Barbies. *gulp* And the time the littlest reminded me of a spur-of-the-moment wild shopping spree in which lots of cute girl clothes were purchased. She said, "It was like an alien took over your body. Can we do it again?" *double gulp*

4. The husband turned me on to a TV show that I have never seen before Saturday. He started watching it from the beginning on Netflix a short time ago and was about six episodes in when he told me that I have to watch it. He said he knew I would like it because it reminds him so much of the novels and stories that I've written. Well, I started watching and I'm hooked. And flattered that this series reminds the hub of my own work. The show is called 'Heroes'. I am totally in love with the cheerleader and the Japanese guys. I so totally want to bake them some cookies and play Barbies with them. The whole thing makes me want to write. Sort of. Only sort of because I understand the dissociative metaphors just a tiny bit too well with this show. But I still like it. It's familiar somehow.

5. I went to therapy and a funny thing happened. We were talking about the last rabbit hole and New Guy told me how he understands the importance of the needs of the little girl at those times and that he wants very much to help her. A voice in my head responded, "Save the cheerleader, save the world!" Unfortunately, if you don't watch 'Heroes', you won't know why that was so hysterically funny to me.

6. The weather is getting cooler here. The sun has shifted its position in the sky. Halloween approaches. It's triggering.

7. My dogs are so sweet and lovely.

8. And now for what I hope is a measure of progress -- There were triggering words in therapy with New Guy. I addressed one word right away (from the infamous Do-Not-Say List with Old Guy). This is good. The other thing was more confusing and I didn't bring it up until near the end of the appointment. But at least I brought it up in real-time and it didn't get dissociated, right? Then I sent New Guy an email to clarify later that night. New Guy called me in response to work it through so I would not be stuck and maybe fall down the hole later in the week. I'm glad, because it was one of those 'human relationship' sort of things that are the most dangerous to the success of therapy for me.

9. I want to be okay and have a good week. That's all I really want right now. I don't think it's too much to want. Just a little bit of peace and some progress.