The anxiety and hypochondria were so bad Saturday that I took a nap just to escape my existence. This is usually a mistake because I seem more likely to get nightmares when I nap, but I was desperate.

I dreamed that I was lost in an airport. I wasn't catching a flight, though. I lived up north with my parents and just needed to leave the house for a while and I somehow ended up at the airport and I was lost there. I remember leaving the airport to walk a long road that would carry me across the state line. My husband suddenly appeared and we walked together. I saw the mile markers on the road and I saw that we had a very long way to walk. I was getting tired and my shoes were hurting my feet. I was very anxious and we ended up having to turn back because it was too far to go without a vehicle. Back at the airport, I was suddenly at the lost and found. My husband was no longer with me, but my sister was. I don't know why I was looking in the lost and found because I was not aware of having lost anything in the airport. The items in the lost and found were strictly feminine accessories. The first things that drew my attention (of course) were shoes. Oddly, there were lots of shoes, but not a single pair in my size. I moved on to the purses and found several that I liked and so... I just kind of took them. I know! I hadn't lost a purse and those did not belong to me, but I took them anyway even though I felt sort of guilty about it - like I was stealing. They were cute purses, though. I remember thinking of taking something to give to my littlest daughter, but the only things there were various lipsticks and lip glosses that had little girl cartoon characters on the packaging. That repulsed me, so I did not take any. Anyway, I remember leaving the lost and found with my sister and an armful of purses and then suddenly... all those purses were gone and so was the one I had come with. In its place was a lovely golden handbag. I looked down and noticed that the shoes that had pinched my feet were gone and I was wearing shiny golden slip-ons that matched the new handbag exactly. I was suddenly thrilled and felt happier and lighter on my feet. And somehow I just knew that my hair looked really good just then, too. I felt quite well, like I was just as I was meant to be. I practically skipped to the escalator with my sister. We got off on the next level. We walked along for a moment and then I saw her. My mother. For one moment I felt the longing for a mother, I was thrilled and I called out to her. "Mom!" She turned my way, but she did not see me. And then I noticed she had a bunch of little girls with her. Golden-haired little girls as my sister and I had once been. I recognized my littlest and my sister's middle daughter in the group and then I woke up with a pounding heart and my diaphragm locked up in a panic.