Husband: Do you know who recorded a show about some woman with multiple personalities?
Me: Huh?
Oh, no! I know it had to be one of my daughters. It was recorded tonight from Discovery Health, so I know it was one of the twins and not my youngest daughter (they both plan to go to medical school and LOVE Discovery Health). I think I know which twin did it. I think it was J, who said to me not long ago, "You're special, Mommy. None of the other kids have a mommy like you. You wear man-boots and play with Barbies."
*gulp*
My kids are much too smart. What am I going to do? I feel sick to my stomach. I (sort of) watched it (when I didn't have to turn away). I feel like deleting it and feigning ignorance, but... in this instance, that crosses the line from protection and into an oppressive form of actual censorship. I can't do that. I feel so disappointed in myself. I try so hard to be 'real' and still look normal. It seems I have failed at that. Well, that doesn't mean I have to flunk motherhood, too. I will just wait and see if discussion or questions develop. If they do, I'm reasonably sure I can be calm, diplomatic and answer with age-appropriateness at the forefront. But that doesn't mean I like this shit. I don't like it at all. It makes me even more glad that my father is dead. Except for the fact that I can't haul off and belt him one. I shouldn't have to worry about this kind of shit. No one should. Least of all a child. You know what? I'm pissed off.
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And on the lighter side, while watching the program, I saw an interview with the client's protector. It suddenly occured to me that my own protector could only be interviewed on Satellite Radio or a similar venue, otherwise a lot of what he might say would be bleeped out. And it would probably scare the hell out of the interviewer. I suddenly feel a little bit sorry for Old Guy.
ReplyDeleteI wonder why you feel dissappointed of yourself. You are real and I guess you look "normal", whatever that means in America. No use to get pissed off by the Discovery Channel.
ReplyDeleteMago, you are such a grounding force here and I love you for it.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a good mother, Lynn. I hope you can see that. And I agree with Mago, there really is no "normal" is there? "We" come in all shapes and sizes :-)
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