Unfortunately, I could not gulp beer fast enough to head off The Crazy in time when the shit started hitting the fan last night (this morning to you). I had a meltdown. I'll spare you the grisly details. I ended up sending one of those crazy, desperate emails complete with Rambo chiming in at the end flipping out about what kind of shit is never helpful. Jesus. It went out to New Guy instead of Old Guy (yes, on purpose). Not only did he answer, but what he said was helpful and I'm hoping that tonight will be better than last night. Want to hear something awful? When I woke up and found a response in my inbox, I had to steel myself inside to be able to open it. I was bracing for... I don't know... being yelled at for being a fuck up or something. But he didn't do anything like that to me. He never has. Among actual helpful advice and information, he responded with this, "First and foremost, please remain safe in your thoughts that I will not abandon you and will hang in there with you for as long as necessary. I care what happens to you and will always be willing to respond and see you through your pain whenever you feel the need to reach out to me."
Could this guy be for real? He won't open up a can of worms and then hurt me and leave me to sink or swim? Could this be true? Could it be?
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The Peanut Gallery is laughing about what New Guy wrote - saying he has no idea what a burden and a crazy ass I am and how one day he will feel like I'm a giant wad of gum that he can't seem to scrape off of his shoe. I know who made the Peanut Gallery, and to them I say, "FUCK YOU."
ReplyDeleteThis is good, I think. HIs response. You ARE worthy of care. You ARE wrothy of love. I am keeping hope that he can help you...he will stay with you...and he is for real.
ReplyDeleteLove you, Grace
Finding a new therapist is so difficult but when you find the right one it's amazing the amount of work that your system can accomplish...everyone of us needs to be accepted without condition, therapy is not about the therapist it's about each one of you, I hope this guy is the real deal.
ReplyDeleteonly time will tell but at least its a start
ReplyDeleteWow, he is so nice. I hope he's for real! Can you clone him?
ReplyDeleteYeah New Guy. I think I like him thus far.
ReplyDelete