Never put off until tomorrow that which you can do today.

Sept. 5, 2009 4:24 AM

I was saving up these paragraphs to send to you a few days before our next appointment when you come back from vacation. I’ve decided to go ahead and send the whole thing right away because this will be the last entry since I don‘t want to share anything more with you now. Not that you will read and retain it all anyway. I know I’m just not that important. Either that, or you’re getting Alzheimer’s. Or maybe you have some dissociation of your own going on. I’d look into that if I were you. But then, if YOU were ME, you’d have me drugged up until I was stupid and drooling, so you do whatever the fuck you want. A disturbing question has entered my mind. I wonder why things come crawling out of the woodwork when you are gone and now I suspect I might know why that is. It might be because you are not here to find some tricky and invalidating way to tell me to stash it. The children are free now. They can tell me anything they want without worrying about being hurt when you need them to go away. They don’t have to hear what that raped teenage girl heard from you three years ago. They don’t have to hear how they are just a product of a defective nervous system and that I will never have peace until I terminate them (me) with drugs. Thanks for leaving me holding the fucking bag. Sometimes I hate you. I should have known better than to get an aging hippie for a shrink. Yes, we all know you people are all a bunch of druggies. This is your fault. You caused it by what you did to the teenage girl. She thinks you’re creepy. She called you a troll that day in your office. A creepy little troll. I wouldn’t sweat that if I were you. Just stuff it into storage. No big deal, right? Yeah. Bite me. Thanks for making sure I’m alone. I am alone to know how my father drugged me and raped me and how my mother couldn’t have given a shit less because she needed me to stash things because she’s such a weak little cunt. Thanks for acting just like her. You suck.