Random Crap

1. I'm having a bad time this morning and I don't know why.

2. Last Sunday morning was awful, too. This time there is no alcohol to suck up some of the misery.

3. I worried because I began to wonder if I feel so scared because my husband is not here and was not here last Sunday morning, either. I would be extremely unhappy if that had anything to do with it.

4. Then I began to worry that someone might break into the house and I remembered that someone broke into my car Saturday morning. I tried to blow it off and not let it bother me and maybe I did too good of a job.

5. I am disturbed by this because twenty cars in the neighborhood were hit. At least the police came to investigate and dusted all the cars for fingerprints, but this is supposed to be a safe neighborhood.

6. Fine, but why did I lose it last Sunday morning? It could be a number of reasons. It's summer, after all. And this is me we are talking about. I will probably never know for sure why I lost it, or exactly why I feel like I'm losing it now. That makes it hard to assess the real reason for the fear and bust up the problem. I can't talk myself out of a past fear if I don't get to know what the fear is coming from. Situations like this tend to piss me off.

7. The sofa seat cushions are clean and I propped them up in my bedroom (safe, clean place) to dry. The pillows and the actual body of the sofa won't take as long as the seat cushions did. The littlest didn't do as many nasty things to those parts.

8. I went online and ordered the drop cloths I've been coveting for my sofa. I will soon have a sofa again. It bothered me deeply that something in the house got so out of control that it could not be used by anyone who doesn't want to stick lollipops and cereal flakes to it.

9. I don't feel well and I still don't know how I will manage the back to school thing or the visit to the son in the prison. It hurts me to admit that I might have to put it off. Again. It's a cop/ jail thing and I can't seem to get over it.