I remember last summer when I went to visit the therapist. I am not at all afraid of the act of flying. It was still difficult for me though, because the plane was full of... people. I remember getting a terrible claustrophobic feeling on the flight over. I hadn't slept. There was a father with two boys sitting behind me. Their apparently two year-old father was an idiot. The boys were rowdy and getting disruptive and he was egging it on instead of helping calm them. I started worrying. I didn't care that much that some kids were acting up, but... things are not like they used to be aboard aircraft. I started getting the feeling that something bad might happen just because some little kids were acting up. I know I can't be the only person who has read horror stories since 9-11 about what can happen if someone loses their shit in the air. I began to feel claustrophobic. Not because of the closed confines of the plane, but because there was no way to get off. No matter what, I could not escape for several hours. I almost lost it right then. And then... for the first time in many, many years... there was beer.

One of my (now officially teenage) daughters dislocated her knee on that vacation. If anyone reading this has ever done the same, perhaps you can appreciate how bad that hurts. How it can cause screaming. Lots and lots of very loud screaming. Though her knee was set at the hospital, I was very worried about the flight home. Very, very worried. It clouded my every moment for the remainder of the trip, but I didn't know where it was coming from and I couldn't tell anyone what I was really afraid of. I was afraid of what I know can happen to girls who scream. Screaming bothers people. It disturbs the peace and no one really cares if it's happening because of pain. Bad things happen then. But I couldn't tell that, really. Not in a way that would have let me know where it was coming from. Because knowing where it was coming from might have caused crying, screaming, neediness... bad things that get people hurt, you know? There was beer on the return flight, too.