Monday, February 9, 2009
I finally have my laptop back at the kitchen table. It's been a while. It's been a bad year so far. I've started fixing the kitchen back up again and I hope to stay out here now. It's probably not good for me to lie around in my room every chance I get. I know it isn't, but sometimes I just don't feel right. I need to try to get my shit back together. I wish someone could help me, but I wouldn't know where to tell them to start. Or maybe I would. Maybe I would tell them to just accept me the way I am, even if I'm *gasp* viciously angry about an atrocity that has been perpetrated against me. Yeah, that's it. I would tell them to just accept that and not get all saintly and do-goody on me. It only pisses me off. And makes me push them out so they can't do it again.
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If I lived closer we could have an "anger party" - throw things, break things. I really like the sound of breaking glass (when I do it and it's expected - when it's unexpected I don't like it). We could line up glass bottles and throw rocks. When I'm viciously angry I like to do that.
ReplyDeleteThat reminds me of what I used to do in our old house across town. We have an orange tree in the backyard, but with all the children to care for, oranges would begin dropping to the ground before I could tend the tree. We also have a wooded area behind the house. I used to go out there and pick up the oranges and throw them as hard and as fast as I could at the trunks of the trees on the edge of the wooded area. Sometimes I would get so involved I would have a sore arm and shoulder for days. I mess the privacy I had in that backyard.
ReplyDeleteHeh. I meant to say I 'miss' the privacy of that backyard. I did also 'mess' it, though. What with all the orange pulp...
ReplyDelete:-)
I have seen a load of orange tree's today; dont get them in the uk.
ReplyDeleteI will send you one to remind you of the orange throwing you have done.
I once got a baseball bat and batted the hell out of about 100 empty wine bottles. The owner wasnt too impressed but given they were going for recycling anyway...
I remember that memory fondly.