When the mother to others has a hole in her soul...

I slept and now I'm a different kind of tired. Sometimes, when I must work very hard and I get very scared and upset, I am still a little worn out inside for a bit even after I solve whatever dire problems sent me scrambling in the first place. It's because of the sadness. You know that saying 'the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak'? In my case, the opposite is true. The bod is able, but the spirit is sad, weakened somehow. I came through the scary time and now the little girl inside me wants nothing except the love and comfort of a mother and it is at times like this that she most misses what she wasn't able to have. And now that the emergency is over -- I feel it. The worst part is that there seems to be nothing I can do to fix it. I understand why I turned out this way and I know the things that happened to me were not my fault. I encourage myself, take care and do my best to give that little girl some love and comfort. And yet there is always the void, the gaping hole. If I could locate it physically, I think duct tape would work, but there is no real location on which to apply it and now I just hurt inside in a place that has no name.