tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30218644949202521972009-11-07T14:48:49.000-05:00Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.comBlogger314125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-81924418036467268702009-11-06T03:50:00.000-05:002009-11-06T03:51:35.750-05:00

1. I love my electric toothbrush. I really do. Nothing can replace the day-to-day detailed care of the manual, but there is nothing like the occasional Super Polish.2. I'm thinking of yanking my mutual funds again. Something unsavory is afoot in the financial world. Personally, I think it is Primary Wave 3 down, and I think it will be devastating. Probably most readers do not trade, but I think

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-8698767433823006152009-11-05T05:26:00.003-05:002009-11-05T06:16:01.597-05:00

I've gone and done something which some might think odd. I got another therapist. Not in the traditional sense, where one might stop seeing one therapist and find another. Things are not that simple in here. I have the old therapist and I have a new one. They don't know about each other. The new one doesn't even have my real name and the personal information I supplied would make me difficult to

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-83944328164792545992009-11-04T04:12:00.002-05:002009-11-04T04:14:38.780-05:00

The Little Girl - she hangs on to life. I have sung this song in my head since I was a little girl. Maybe someday it won't be a day away. Maybe... maybe... maybe.Maybe I'm going to bed.

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-76415054690441677022009-10-30T22:32:00.001-04:002009-10-30T22:34:24.420-04:00

My therapist is going on vacation Saturday. I fell down a rabbit hole. I'm out now.

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-86677301057249043702009-10-30T02:27:00.006-04:002009-10-30T02:43:47.573-04:00

Peter Schilling - Major Tom- Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-84946010757790468362009-10-30T02:26:00.000-04:002009-10-30T03:29:28.628-04:00

Hello, (Potential New Therapist).I am looking for a therapist who can work with PTSD and a dissociative disorder caused by childhood trauma. No kind of phobia killing CBT stuff works for me. Channel changing and thought blocking are no different than dissociation for me. And I'm no pill taker, either, and I don't believe in any god and have no need of one. I just need a real person who is not

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-29747185698406612512009-10-29T09:31:00.003-04:002009-10-29T09:35:24.802-04:00

(Dear Therapist,)I swore I would not email you. I promised. I'm going to sleep like shit now and I will be tormented for opening my big yap. I'm here. And I HURT. I HURT SO FUCKING BAD YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT. I sent an email looking for a new therapist and Rambo is saying, "No! Don't do that. They're all the same." And the little girl is on the floor sobbing for you to come and pick her up.

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-22401687599443439322009-10-29T04:50:00.001-04:002009-10-29T04:52:04.413-04:00

I wrote and published this post two months ago. I shut off comments immediately after publication. Then I hid it in draft to get it off my blog because it was too upsetting for me to handle. The truth is, though - this has been my experience and it's often how I still feel. I have reposted it below and it is open to comments now.The Mental Health Profession's Not-So-Secret Manifesto(Not to be

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-50188687174661386332009-10-28T05:53:00.001-04:002009-10-28T05:55:46.915-04:00

I'm not sure why or what's going on, but I'm in a weird spot. I feel like there are two worlds going on at the same time. I live in this one here, where I need to make food and lists, wash children's clothes, and clean things. Then there is this other one. It's very close and it follows me everywhere. I feel as if I might accidentally plunge into it if I move through space too quickly. And I do a

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-88947081476342926792009-10-27T08:33:00.003-04:002009-10-27T09:20:07.653-04:00

There was a massive meltdown Friday morning. I'm trying not to be, but I am ashamed. I don't like panicking, screaming and crying in front of anyone. I don't want anyone else to be hurt, stressed or frightened by this crap like I am. And I try to contain it, control it, even drown it if I must. But I'm in pain. I hurt. I don't know what to do. I'm trying, though.There are some good things. My

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-39911050099899157472009-10-21T06:04:00.001-04:002009-10-21T07:58:21.384-04:00

(Dear Therapist,)I really hope I'm right to trust you. This is the part of me that no one else sees. The last couple of days have been hard. I have located part of the problem. It's here. Please read it. I will call you ten to fifteen minutes late so you can absorb everything. After you visit the link and then compare it to how I was three years ago, then there is more and we can talk about it,

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-67484351450481794662009-10-21T03:24:00.001-04:002009-10-21T04:22:54.990-04:00

Yes. I remember. It's because you died nine years ago tomorrow. As beastly as you were to me sometimes when I was little, I did not want you to be sick or to ever die. I didn't want you to suffer in any way. I loved you. If there is anything left of you to know anything, nothing good came from your abuse. Nothing at all. But something good did come from your genetic line. I am still here and so

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-30277898129251314872009-10-20T18:45:00.000-04:002009-10-20T18:45:37.323-04:00

Wow. I am totally beat down tired. I had to get up quite a bit earlier today than usual. Of course, that did not mean I got to choose when to go to sleep. I tried my best, and I got to bed a little bit earlier than normal, but that isn't saying much. I'm trying to keep busy this evening and not fall asleep for a nap because I'm hoping that I will be so tired that I will go to sleep substantially

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-6677452430556780372009-10-20T18:44:00.000-04:002009-10-21T00:45:05.809-04:00

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-73491370584690118032009-10-19T08:17:00.002-04:002009-10-19T08:41:11.837-04:00

We got into one of those laughing, joking family discussions. The topic was 'the first words you ever said'. Our kids all said normal things like mama, dada, and baba. My husband drew laughs when he told how his first words were, "I eat." What can I say? His mama overfed him and the man still likes his food. The kids thought "I eat" was hilarious. My first word? I *thought* it had its funny

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-68960470856469476172009-10-18T06:21:00.002-04:002009-10-18T07:53:11.465-04:00

I'm sure regular readers are quite familiar with my irritation with dishonest therapy methods that rely on, and actually encourage dissociation. This is so sad for survivors of childhood abuse, and most notably destructive for those who have problems with dissociation. We 'got rid of it' a long time ago and now that it has come home to roost, dishonest therapy methods such as CBT and DBT demand

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-85405928589415522302009-10-17T07:09:00.001-04:002009-10-17T07:14:22.536-04:00

I heard the beep of the alarm system telling me that a door or window had been opened. I'm sure that less than one second passed between the beep and the scream. In less-than-one-second, many calculations were processed through my fevered brain -- proximity between the likeliest security breeches and the children; my location in relation to the children and the likely breech, the intersection

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-27718500555005928212009-10-16T18:00:00.000-04:002009-10-16T18:00:39.450-04:00

With all that has been going on, I have still managed to take care of business. A new tenant is moving in to the empty house next week. Getting them in was unusually difficult due to the odd circumstances left behind by the former tenant, but... just glad things are moving right along and I still have the ability to take care of business. And I didn't even miss a month of collecting rent on that

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-45829338757873569382009-10-16T05:10:00.000-04:002009-10-16T05:10:54.400-04:00

Thank you for the musical acceptance and appreciation, Jenny. I'm glad you know I didn't leave you. I didn't leave the little girl. Not in the way you feared that brought you so much distress. I stuck around on Wednesday evening and you know that wasn't easy for me. The therapist stuck around, too. And so did the husband and so did Grace. I said it to the therapist once a long time ago and now

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-35057121373526846822009-10-14T23:12:00.002-04:002009-10-14T23:17:34.077-04:00

I'm sorry for all the disappearing and reappearing posts. Things started to get unstable for me. Then I had a really bad flashback. I know some things now. I'm not feeling well. I'll be back as soon as I can.

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-16442655453544945152009-10-14T05:12:00.007-04:002009-10-14T23:09:04.243-04:00

Those of you who have not been reading here for a very long time would not understand this if I were too sloppy about it, so I will offer a very quick background. Jenny is the... something or other who connects me to things, most especially to my body. She is the connector. She communicates with me, mostly by bringing me songs. She brings these messages in response to my direct questions to her

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-74515270569846258312009-10-14T02:21:00.000-04:002009-10-14T02:21:22.989-04:00

My Dear Bloggies,Thank you so very much for your great responses to the last post, which I have temporarily tucked away in draft for reasons I bet you can easily guess. :-) I am still not sure what will come of that particular situation, but I do know that something must change in some way and it should probably be soon.I am working on the other house. Patching holes in the walls, painting,

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-41694940762556779282009-10-12T05:59:00.002-04:002009-10-13T01:31:28.981-04:00

Psychologists love alphabet soup, right? Well, I have an entrée that I predict will one day be added to the diagnostic manual. It won’t be in our lifetime, though. It will take hundreds of years and perhaps a loud and bloody revolution for people to wise up to that extent. It’s this -- CBT/DBTPTSD. Yes, it means PTSD symptoms caused in part by CBT and/ or DBT. And I would be willing to bet that

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-91484163035445538832009-10-11T07:33:00.002-04:002009-10-11T07:50:22.536-04:00

(Dear Therapist,)Just in case I end up a mess and am unable to tell, it's this --I've been having panic attacks and the nervous twitch is back on the side of my face. My old house (the one across town that was my actual HOME) has been hastily abandoned by the tenant. The neighbors are telling us all kinds of scary things that were going on over there right before she bailed. Long story short - it

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3021864494920252197.post-80079343884772394672009-10-10T19:10:00.000-04:002009-10-10T19:10:28.906-04:00

I have run into a problem with a rental. I have been very triggered because of which house it is and because of the circumstances involved. I can't really say any more than that, but I am truly trying very hard to stay somewhat relaxed and to just be glad that the tenant is gone. I have a lot of work to do and I just want to be okay. I NEED to be okay.

Ethereal Highwayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01120557764517618673Lynntaketwo@gmail.com2